It is half past seven in a share house in Footscray, five people are on the couch, and the third lap of the scroll has started without anybody admitting it. The quickest way to pick a movie in a share house is to shrink the pool to what the house actually pays for, take a private yes or no from everyone, and put on whatever overlaps. Five minutes, no campaigning. Here is the method, and six titles that will not start another argument.
Why the share house never agrees
Three to six adults, three to six completely different ideas of a good night, and one remote. Everyone in the room reckons they are the reasonable one. The housemate who wants subtitles has had a big week, the one who wants something loud has been at work since six, and the one saying they do not mind is quietly knocking back every option on the way past the kitchen.
Then the suggesting starts, which is the actual problem. A title said out loud belongs to whoever said it, so knocking it back reads as knocking them back, and now two people are negotiating instead of watching. Forty minutes later somebody puts MAFS on and the whole house acts like that was always the plan. Nobody owns up to it. Nobody ever does.
How to pick a movie in a share house in five minutes
Grand final fortnight makes it worse, because half the unit is booked on Kayo and the movie has to fit around the footy. The AFL grand final is Saturday 26 September and the NRL grand final is Sunday 4 October, the same day the clocks go forward in the daylight saving states. So movie night is a Tuesday, like everything else in spring. Run it like this.
- Name the services the house actually pays for, not every logo on the smart TV. Four is normal. Six is a problem for another night.
- Everyone gets one veto and spends it up front, before anybody has scrolled anything. Subtitles, horror, anything over two hours, whatever it is, call it now and it stops being a fight later.
- Everyone says yes or no privately. Nobody has to justify anything, and nobody gets to pull a face about it from the kitchen.
- Whatever overlaps is the movie. Not a starting point for more negotiating, the movie. Three of the five said yes to the same thing, so that is the one and the arguing is done.
- The rest keeps. Every other yes goes on the list, so Thursday starts with a shortlist instead of a blank home screen.
Nothing here is clever. It is the same fair-decision logic as the guide to ending the what-to-watch argument, scaled up from two people to a full house, where it matters more because there are more people to annoy. For the mechanics of the private swipe and the group match, how MatchWatch works has the steps in order. The method holds up on paper. The app just does the tallying so nobody in the lounge room has to.
Six that survive a mixed share house
One rule for the list: every title has to work for the person watching properly and the person who is half in the kitchen. That rules out anything you need three seasons of background for, and anything that asks five adults to sit in silence for two hours. All six are on a service an Australian share house plausibly has, one title per service. The actual share house film, Danny Boyle's Shallow Grave from 1994, is rent or buy only here, so keep that one for a night you plan in advance.
Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Taika Waititi directs, Sam Neill and Julian Dennison carry it, and the whole thing is warm and funny and done in 1h 41m. Free with ads on SBS On Demand, so it costs the house nothing. Nobody in the house is too old or too cool for it, which is more than the rest of the list can say.
Ted Lasso
Bill Lawrence, Jason Sudeikis, Joe Kelly and Brendan Hunt made it, and Sudeikis and Hannah Waddingham front it. The footy half of the house and the half that could not care less both stay put, which is no small thing in grand final fortnight. On Apple TV.
Ocean's Eleven
Steven Soderbergh's heist, George Clooney and Brad Pitt out front, 1h 56m of nobody in the room being stressed. The plot re-explains itself often enough that whoever wandered off to get the washing in can still follow it. On HBO Max, and it has aged better than most of 2001.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Michelle Yeoh and Stephanie Hsu, directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, 2h 20m that somehow holds a fight scene, a slapstick bit and a proper cry. The housemate who wants action, the one who wants comedy and the one who wants feelings all get paid. On Netflix.
Bridesmaids
Paul Feig directs, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph run it, and it is the household default for a reason: big set pieces up top, a real friendship plot underneath. Almost nobody actively objects to this one, which in a share house is the highest compliment going. 2h 5m, on Binge.
Only Murders in the Building
Honourable mention
Steve Martin and John Hoffman's comfort-watch murder mystery, with Martin and Martin Short two of the three mismatched neighbours at the centre of it. It is basically this post with a body in it. Honourable mention because it is a show and tonight the house wanted a movie. On Disney+.
What each one is, and who it is for
Hunt for the Wilderpeople is Taika Waititi's 2016 one, with Sam Neill and Julian Dennison, and it runs 1h 41m, so nobody has to clear the whole night for it. It is warm and funny and it does not ask anyone to have seen anything first. It is free with ads on SBS On Demand, so even the housemate who refuses to pay for anything has run out of excuses. Widest age range in the six, by a distance.
Ted Lasso is the Apple TV one, made by Bill Lawrence, Jason Sudeikis, Joe Kelly and Brendan Hunt, with Sudeikis and Hannah Waddingham in front. It is the grand final fortnight compromise: the half of the house living on Kayo gets the sport, the half that would rather not gets the feel-good comedy, and both halves stay on the couch. Episodes are short, so you can start one at ten on a Tuesday and still get to bed.
Ocean's Eleven is Steven Soderbergh's 2001 heist, George Clooney and Brad Pitt out front, 1h 56m. Zero stress, clean lines, and the plot keeps re-explaining itself, which matters when two housemates are in and out of the kitchen for the first half hour. It is on HBO Max here. Put it on when the house has had a week and nobody wants to feel anything in particular.
Everything Everywhere All at Once is the Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert one, Michelle Yeoh and Stephanie Hsu, 2h 20m, made by A24. It is the only movie here that pays three different housemates at once: action, slapstick and a proper family cry, all in the same sitting. It is on Netflix in Australia. The one warning is the runtime, so start it before nine or somebody is asleep by the second act.
Bridesmaids is Paul Feig's 2011 comedy, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph, 2h 5m, and it is on Binge. It is the household default because almost nobody actively objects to it: big set pieces for the half of the room that is half watching, a real friendship plot underneath for the half that is fully in. If your house cannot agree on anything else, this is the one that usually gets waved through.
Only Murders in the Building is the honourable mention, because it is a show and the brief tonight was a movie. Steve Martin and John Hoffman made it, Martin and Martin Short are two of the three mismatched neighbours, and it is on Disney+ here. It is the comfort-watch version of this exact problem: people who did not choose each other, working out how to share an address. Save it for the week after the finals.
The MatchWatch way to settle it
The five steps work with a pen and a bit of paper. They work better when nobody has to run the tally. MatchWatch is built for this exact room: set the services the house has, everyone swipes their own deck privately, and the app says what the room already agreed on. The families and flatmates page covers the household setup, which is the bit that stops one five-person house turning into five separate arguments.
That threshold is the whole point of doing it as a group instead of a pair. Three yeses out of five and it is decided. Nobody has to be talked round in front of everyone, and the housemate who vetoes on principle finds out that the principle only goes so far. The leftovers sit on the list for Thursday, which is the part that quietly saves you the argument next week.
So that is how to pick a movie in a share house without losing half the night to it: name what the house pays for, spend the vetoes early, vote privately, put on whatever overlaps. Six titles above to start with, and one of them is free. MatchWatch keeps the tally so the loudest housemate stops being the deciding vote. Available in New Zealand, Australia, the UK, and the United States.